Quite a gem of a stick figure drawing, isn't it? Last Fall I was feeling prodded once again to begin blogging. It was October and it had been six months since I had left the job I had once seen as saving my fragile middle-aged life. It didn't really save my life of course; yet without a doubt God had compassionately provided a job which I loved and in which I came to excel. I left this job purposely and willingly. On that particular October day I began a new journal. My first words in it were under the title {I journey on} I wrote about the freedom of obedience I had felt releasing my grasp on this job and the significant work it involved. I pictured myself releasing with one hand and grasping with the other~ as if on monkey bars. Only the grasping hand had not yet grabbed another rung. Inspired to draw a picture I produced the lovely artwork above on a notepad from Holiday Inn Express. :) I was six months into this release and grasp thing. I wrote that I had yet to take hold of anything definitive. I was in-between. I had not fallen as physical law would prescribe. I felt supernaturally suspended... More than another six months have passed, that journal is coming to the end of its pages and this blog thing is beginning. I felt it appropriate to include my drawing as I try out this tool called blogging. I still feel safely suspended; praying to reach and grasp rightly, day by day. My drawing does not fit the normal picture of swinging across monkey bars. My way of navigating life does not fit a norm either. That's okay. That's more than okay. Its downright wonderful. And coming from someone who spent way too many years concerned about what other people think of me (an ongoing recovery!) that is pretty powerful. God has patiently worked with me for decades to show me that not fitting in this world is exactly the right fit.
Quite a gem of a stick figure drawing, isn't it? Last Fall I was feeling prodded once again to begin blogging. It was October and it had been six months since I had left the job I had once seen as saving my fragile middle-aged life. It didn't really save my life of course; yet without a doubt God had compassionately provided a job which I loved and in which I came to excel. I left this job purposely and willingly. On that particular October day I began a new journal. My first words in it were under the title {I journey on} I wrote about the freedom of obedience I had felt releasing my grasp on this job and the significant work it involved. I pictured myself releasing with one hand and grasping with the other~ as if on monkey bars. Only the grasping hand had not yet grabbed another rung. Inspired to draw a picture I produced the lovely artwork above on a notepad from Holiday Inn Express. :) I was six months into this release and grasp thing. I wrote that I had yet to take hold of anything definitive. I was in-between. I had not fallen as physical law would prescribe. I felt supernaturally suspended... More than another six months have passed, that journal is coming to the end of its pages and this blog thing is beginning. I felt it appropriate to include my drawing as I try out this tool called blogging. I still feel safely suspended; praying to reach and grasp rightly, day by day. My drawing does not fit the normal picture of swinging across monkey bars. My way of navigating life does not fit a norm either. That's okay. That's more than okay. Its downright wonderful. And coming from someone who spent way too many years concerned about what other people think of me (an ongoing recovery!) that is pretty powerful. God has patiently worked with me for decades to show me that not fitting in this world is exactly the right fit.
Letting go...I have had to really learn that of late, but with both hands, relinquishing the fact that it's not my script, but the Lords.
ReplyDeleteIt has been freeing, though mite scary, but knowing that is what I am to do, is a good thing.
Glad to see you in print!
Mom, I'm so proud of you! And I'm so glad that others can now hear your voice that I've been enjoying all along. So much wisdom...so much of you. I love you. Amy
ReplyDeleteI'm so proud of you too! Like Amy said, I am so excited to not only hear more of your heart through your writing, but for other people to also be encouraged by it + you! I love you!
ReplyDeleteP.S. And I love your first two posts!
Yay! I can finally read your thoughts and get to know you better. You've always left such wonderful and insightful comments on my blog and encouraged my heart every time and I've wished every time for a way to get to know the lady behind them.
ReplyDeleteAnd I love your picture. I'm feeling a bit suspended right now too! Or at least, I'm feeling my fingers slipping off the rung...
Fabulous post!! Sue, I can't wait to read more!!
ReplyDelete