Pack them up, Let them go
Upwards of a dozen suitcases are scattered about our home right now; small to huge; roller, duffle, back-packable, garment and carry-on. Some of these not-so-fine pieces of luggage are severely damaged waiting for disposal; others are being nursed along with rips and tears and challenged zippers. Wheels are fantastic, but they can lose their smooth moves and even get hacked off in the rough world of air travel! I never know what to expect as the baggage carousel spits out my luggage after each flight.
We have always been lovers of travel; however, this large collection has been amassed for several reasons~ 1) Doug’s current work requires travel about 3 weeks a month 2) We are a team and I travel with him some of the time 3) the suitcases we buy tend to fall apart 4) we tend to use things a long time 5) we are behind on disposal and give-away.
We have always been lovers of travel; however, this large collection has been amassed for several reasons~ 1) Doug’s current work requires travel about 3 weeks a month 2) We are a team and I travel with him some of the time 3) the suitcases we buy tend to fall apart 4) we tend to use things a long time 5) we are behind on disposal and give-away.
So luggage looms large in my life right now and proved to be a ready metaphor when the discussion of “letting our children go” came up among a group of dear friends. One is in the process, another is not so eagerly anticipating it and another is still tender from a rough go. I listened. When asked what I could share from my experience immediately a visual of George Bailey’s suitcase came to me; you know--It’s a Wonderful Life--a gift from Old Man Gower; George’s name lovingly inscribed on it, treasured at first sight, big enough to be packed "for a thousand and one nights with plenty of room here for labels from Italy and Baghdad...." Something like this came out of my mouth:
Our children come to us like an unfilled suitcase. We lovingly chose a monogram for each case and we take on the task of filling it up. We anticipate joy in this process (a pride in ownership, dare I say) and there is certainly that yet often the considerations of packing can be overwhelming--planning for every possible need of the trips ahead. As there are guidebooks and gurus to advise us on vacation packing, there are no shortages of parenting guidebooks and experts with the latest must-haves and methodologies. We may find ourselves saying, “They have no idea what my case is like!”
We explain the importance of a passport. Every suitcase is traveling internationally these days and being identified with a country gives you the freedom to travel about and still come home. As part of the packing we teach our children the rights and responsibilities of being a follower of Jesus--a citizen of Heaven. We tell stories of how our passports have benefited our own travels. We can help them with the paperwork, gather the right documents and even get a couple of good photos ready. We rejoice when they follow though--choosing for themselves to put their own signature on it--applying for citizenship.
As parents we do our best to rightly fill those cases over the years given us. We start out doing all of the choosing. Next we allow some of the decisions to be made as a joint effort. Eventually the packing choices become the sole responsibility of the child—with our close and ready help. Soon, the child is no longer a mere child. This timeline is fairly predictable, though it still catches some by surprise. In our hearts we know our suitcase is meant to go out from us. It was never intended to stay at home. Its purpose is a journey all its own.
Travel itineraries will be made, altered and altered again. Some packed items may be discarded to make room for new fangled things. Flights will get canceled and delayed. Souvenirs will be acquired. Not all travel will be hassle-free or even enjoyable. The case will get some tough wear and tear along the way. Labels of “foreign lands” will get slapped on the case like badges of honor; the passport will get stamps from destinations we ourselves have never traveled to. This is as it should be. I will say it again-- this is as it should be!
Having sent out three of our own I tell you there is no joy like a well traveled suitcase--one which you had the honor of helping to pack--coming back to visit at your house; sharing stories and lessons learned thus far plus hopes, fears and dreams for journeys ahead. Can't you just see a collection of suitcases returning "home" to swap stories and enjoy each others travels?
I shared some of this with our youngest daughter--our most recently sent out suitcase. She told me that as parents we had raised her and her siblings to want to be with us, not need to be with us. I took that as a profound compliment and a tribute to God’s divine hand in leading us through the packing process.
